Let's dig a little deeper: WHY?????? Conversely, if your spouse works long hours out of necessity, this can signify that they're willing . Remember that God doesnt give us more than we can handle-and he must think that you can handle a lot. My wife had insisted on getting a new house before we were ready. I cant believe that she will come back from this business trip with her husband and we would be able to continue on as we have and still have the relationship that we both have known to be so strong. I am dealing with the reality that Ill see my son a lot less. But he hurts me everyday. And although I have never been violent, I would become upset or angry over silly things and thus this is where the problem would arrive I am now about to head home and face this reality even though I didnt want to . she took the kids and moved in with her parents and ignored me for a week. Paul W. Paul what did you do to overcome the sadness? The answer is how can we make you happy and ease your feelings. I am so sorry! Well, a year and a half ago he announced he needed a separation for 30-days and walked out on us in the middle of the night. !! Its a love that looks right., She asked us, Did you know he has Down syndrome? I was a little shocked. But the two most common triggers of severe dog depression are the loss of a companion animal or the loss of an owner. I just cant believe how active this board appears with people who are going through this. I have been in counseling, a divorce support group and working everyday to believe that I am of value. Failure to "wake up and smell the roses". I am never able to maintain my anger for any length of time but never the less I am a poor former of words while angry so it is easy for me to see how I may have said something I didnt truly mean I sought crisis respite because I did not want to be around while he packed up happily to leave. What a way to throw a wrench in! Well, 7 months into our counseling, I found some emails between him and a women he worked with. Read what happens when a) they loose their job. She was a self harmer and naturally negative person yet strong willed, firey, smart, impulsive and absolutely gorgeous. Now he says its completely over but I dnt know if I can trust him. I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. So, I have been married to my husband for 14 1/2 years. *they feel smothered You are trying so hard and are not getting the appreciation you deserve. You might feel like youre on an island all by yourself, but thats not true. I sleep and eat baflt. How do I keep my self-esteem high when Im going through this? its been a rough go since 2013. *the relationship feels like too much work. But I have no choice but to pick up my own pieces and move on because he left me with no choice. Im in so much pain physically. I will admit that i have said some hurtfull things to her a long time ago.And she so has she.We have a son and when he was 2 she left me for a couple of weeks,then we got back together.then 15 years later i read some of her private messages on Facebook that she was talking to some guy. !my son and my daughter in law found me twist the rope around my neck and around the tree but it was broke, I lay lifeless and I know that is divine intervention with my Holy Father anyway my point is is that I would not be able to endure what my husband did to me, without Jesus I mean I begged him on my hands and knees and help me with the pain cuz I couldnt handle anymore and one day he took it from me I no longer have it like I did Im confused now but my husband so I dont know what to do if he were to come back into my life but I would do it because God wanted me to and marriage is sacred to God and I dont want to go against my father I promise you thats the only way youll endure the suffering , and be assured that with every one of my trials and tribulations I have found the blessing the blessings outweigh any thing that we have suffered and we also have to keep in mind look at Jobe what he went through look what Jesus went through for usits only through this Christ that you will find true peace. How can I do it? Tell me something. He was the greatest dad, he still sees the kids but maybe once a week. For many people, abusive behavior and infidelity are signs that a marriage is beyond repair. I just dont understand any of it and feel so hopeless. One thing lead to another then we had sex. (The intensive way and extreme degree to which I process information is probably associated with this). My girlfriend of almost 9 years didnt just have an affair she had and is still in a relationship with a married supervisor from her work instead of telling me that she found someone new or telling his wife and ruining his marriage he convinced her to call the police on me have me arrested for breaking and entering the house through an unlocked backdoor.i didnt find out about this relationship until after I was released from city cells with the conditions of my release being no contact at all with her and I cant go 200 meters near the house I had two visits with my three kids where on the second visit the children told me this man was coming to the house and was there after they went to bed the next day after that visit low and behold I was arrested for child assault(a complete lie of course)and now I cant see or talk to my kids either my lawyer says trial will be into the New Year for sure if I plead not guilty.so when you think you got it bad just remember my life. When your children were young, you probably used to have fun and spend time with them. Its hard to give up thinking they will come back. I said that is fine, i am done with always fighting with you. Its easy to get trapped in black-and-white thinking, but you will need to expand your concept of the situation to truly heal. Either that or he will be here to stay. And some families have one parent. It happened only once and was not discovered by anyone. I have to buy my own insurance because Im losing mine on December 9. It is the hardest thing I ever been through. About a month ago, I separated from him because I did not feel like he actually loved me. I dont know if anyone will ever love me again! Its the circle of life. Thanks CassieD. I have cried more over the past eight weeks than during my entire life. Please. I dont think I will ever be able to understand it and it scares the HELL out of me when once in a while I think I get inside of his mind what he thought process was to abuse me. Because i was not dressed for it and i am not comfortable with my body. The kids are with her in the parents house. He is going back to his daddys at 30 years old because he will have no responsibility. Most days everything fine till either side of the visit. The one you left feelings dont matter no more?? She refused to let me see them at all and now had moved that guy and his kid into our home. But the ties are weakening and I feel like I am at my wits end. The message is so strong and clear when there is infidelity, unlike opaque reasons such as boredom or lack of compatibility. I am reeling. This new girlfriend has a world of abuse to deal with in the future. He had his stuff, his money his problems. I later found out she moved into the house her male boss was selling. one big reason for her change,A year ago she quit taking antidepressant meds cold turkey and went through menopause at the same time, and it made her change not just mentally, but physically she totally changed her appearance. She spent a few nights at his place and on new years eve she drove him home and spent the night. I must be strong. Unbelievable. You may recognise a similar situation Rather than an excess of painful emotion, it was the lack of pain, the lack of feeling, that was the . I have just left my partner of 16 years. When he left me, my mother was furious . I dont want to go on with life feeling like I do. Health not good. A girl who is blinded by love. Men want to feel and express the love they have for their spouses. Before she left, we both confessed to each other that we felt more connected, more married if you will to each other then either of us ever did to our spouses. About three months ago he had been out in the garage for a particularly long time (this is were he smokes). I work part time supporting in a school. I am in a deep and dark place.I am totally stressed out.I love her so much. He has three kids I have two. I cant imagine being in this apartment we have been in for so long together and staring at all the memories and these walls and being able to move on and be happy. We had had a very hard year and the month before he left he had told me he was unhappy and was considering leaving because he was so unhappy and I was making him miserable. She is 39 and I am 50. Thanks cassieD.I feel no more,Like i am dead.I have tried therapy.nothing is helping.i feel like there is no hope for me. I have been with my partner for 5 years we live together, our relationship was very fiery at the start there was quite a few break ups over various reasons, in the last 2years we havent split up once or even had a big enough argument to consider doing that, we have had petty little arguments but thats about all. Submit your own storyhere, andsubscribeto our free newsletter for our best stories. Last September she said we were over due to the fact of me cheating with her friend. SHARE this story on Facebook with your friends and family. Im having problems inmy marriage righy now. Sounds familiar except mine was emotional abuse, yip, happened to me too, thank g i kept postponing the wedding date or id be stuck in an abusive marriage with a traumatized kid. Photo, Ondine Corewijn/Stocksy. My estranged husband wants a divorce after 23 years. Oh gosh Im sorry for your pain. It was the worst 30mins of my life and it felt pressed and forced. There are many of us going through the same thing and you have a support network of people to reach out to for coffee, chats, friendships, even just to read stories and ask questions or know you are doing a great job. So I came clean and told my husband that I was unhappy because of these feelings that I couldn't overcome and I felt like staying in the marriage would be denying him the opportunity to find someone who is 100% devoted to him. So much so that mutual friends who would come to visit, theyd ask me not to tell my wife they were in town. Im paralyzed and just dont know where to begin? But Im not saying that you should give up on your marriage and move on with your life. Things like eating right, exercising, therapy, meditation, massage, friends, family Anything to get better Its horrible.. You might want to file a complaint against her to freeze your money before you get that back. I found out she already had a rental before she even told me. If youre looking for a counselor that practices a specific type of therapy, or who deals with specific concerns, you can make an advanced search by clicking here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html. If you have to question them or yourself 9 times out of 10 there is a good reason for this. I just want to leave and not hurt him to bad. He told me not to cry, he couldnt handle it. 2. I promised to do anything. he gave all these other reasons but they were just excuses for the facts.. thus was about a month ago now. Then one night he did not come home until 5:30am. Scripture adds. Let them go find their happiness now, it sounds like its time or rather soon. He only saw our daughter twice a month.. Then after our son he asks me to come back I go back and hes still trctong her the night I moved back in so the very next morning with my 1 week old baby and my toddler I pack up and move out again. I took it over as there were 4super large steel trays full of food that would have gone to waste if I left it at home. What I can say is once you read what others have to say your self esteem and self worth will rise and give you wings as you realize none of it is YOUR fault , they will never change and can only love themselves ! I found a job making less money but I manage. My husband made cupcakes for my daughter and every home game for two seasons for four years of high school. I just want her back.. My husband left me about 19 years ago we were best friends for some years but when we got married he walked out on me I had broken my leg and was using cruches to get around he left me when I needed him the most I dont know why he left me he never tried to find me to explain hisself or why he did what he did nothing bad happened between us I cant seem to get pass this I think about what he did to me everyday and nite for the past 19 years I have been emotionaly upset over this and dont know what to do i just want answers. To the outside world, Emme lived a charmed life. I froze that moment then 6 years later I was traumatized again. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. I would suggest conseling to him. Please contact us if you have any questions. My wife is 34. Tell her how much you want it to work & that you can change those things. My partner of 7 years left after an argument over nothing 3 months ago and he is refusing to talk about anything. My children were now being brainwashed into believing I left then for this new woman as well as a few of her not so close friends. I used to make more money than him and since I got laid off he changed towards me. We went and started making progress. I dont get it for you either. Honor yourself and keep your integrity through this process. Do not try to get her back at this time at least. Never was there a conversation of custody or living nearby to split parenting. After 24 years of marriage, and 27 years of being together, my wife told me she no longer was in love with me. I would of course have to impose new rules to our relationship after finding out that shes been deceiving everyone, but I would give her a second chance. My youngest is 3 and my older son is 6. Read more inspiring stories of single moms: At 7 months pregnant, I found messages online to a dozen women, telling them he hated me, wished I was dead. And what they are now compared to who they were before. Hi I have been with my wife for 7 years we dated for 4 years and have been married for 3. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better? I have no answers.she wont tell me why she left.the only thing she will say is file for divorce. I dont know if he has fallen for her, if it is a mid life crisis or what. It felt like we never stopped loving each other, she just needed some space and I never wanted to let her go. ah, someone wasnt paying attention at the beginning of the Shes blocked me completely out her life and of my nephews on her brothers side. Take your life back, It is yours to live!! REALLY??? Open the door," said my dad. I hate myself and have become a hermit. I think youre right. I am so sorry this happened to you. Got obsessed with animal rights became activist. Feels like Im physically dying. He had decided that this life, our life, wasnt for him. Grass is not always greener and a lot of times they are then in a new relatioship only to wakeup one day and find they feel exactly the same as they did in the previous relationship .Talk to each other sort problems out no one is perfect dont badmouth the other person . Depressed partners regret leaving very often, yes, but it should not be a pattern. She knows not what she does. I did what every online blog said not to do. And most importantly, they have the ability to be themselves and to own all the happiness that they deserve. Im 59 shes 49. it was so bad I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks.I couldnt work,lost all interest and no motivation I couldnt function .the grief and depression was so overwhelming I had to be hospitalized.Im currently getting therapy, and counseling for my grief and depression.but it still does not answer the question, why? In many cases, there were no common interests to start with, making coming back together even harder. I feel like Im slowly dying I tried and gave him everything I had even if it wasnt alot. One thing we never were was abusive to each other but this morning in particular she punched me in the face out of anger. Its so hard because I love him and I am trying my best to keep my family together. I am the one who needs help, not him. With Elizabeth Vargas, PMDD Quiz: Do I Have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. The truth hurts us, but it also helps us to move on quicker. A year ago I found out he had cheated on me and me wanting to be a good wife and loving him with all I am I took him back and worked on what he said made him do it. He had freedom to hang with his friends and even was lucky enough to have a swinger lifestyle and a socially bi wife that had tons of fun with him in our adult fun life style. (2009). It seems to me that what your wife has done is about her, not you. Hatred is not something u do to someone u love, even I know this. Then I cant get in touch,feels weird and horrible. We both love our children and our siblings and dont want to hurt them more than we already have. I have been abused by my father, I have been in relationships where I have been abused for many years. Dont screw yourself. Then 2017 came and both of the kids are on their own, and I decided to try and retire, and my wife and I committed to working on the intimacy / sex issue again and we even planned a vacation for August which we took and was the first for us together in over 20 years. Hate is a strong word but I think I do hate het for all the evil things she has done to me and our kids. Best! I had no clue what was going on behind my back. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better, thats what I keep thinking & one of these times I will. I know how difficult it is and I know how sad it is because I am here too but I am six months out, and the realization that I c could be better off starting to hit me. I was so scared and so alone and it was all of a sudden. I was not an angel but I dont think I deserve the treatment Im receiving. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Sleep induced by mess (legal) and a fetal position. Gender disparity in the rate of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness. I was a new mother to a 3-month-old baby girl. I hold my vows very close to my heart. I still work full time. Inner wisdom can move you forward. 4. My break ups I had a choice die, lay in my bed forever and lose my job, or take the bull by the horns and say I am a good person and I deserve better!! Only her family and closest friends knew she was actually dealing with a devastating situation that is all too familiar to . Next thing I know, I was finding that he had taken all my jewelry including gifts he had given me and the pink slip to the vehicle we owned together. You can get a new cat or dog, or you can even get a new boyfriend or girlfriend. You need to find someone who loves you, rather than someone that wants what they can get from you. I am disabled and have unique issues that cause stroke like symptoms and memory issues. Im saying this to let you know that you are not the only one. The right man will respect what you have been through, he will be patient and kind and above most understanding. After months and months of lies raising our daughter alone and pregnant I have birth to our son while in labor I drove myself to the hospital after my water broke he was in and out of the room on his phone texting talking etc well that very night I had my beautiful baby he was holding him while his guy friend came to visit well his phone went off and thats when I found out with my own eyes he had been lying and was with another girl. Its a long story between my ex and I, but basically he just left me one day because I wouldnt give him 20 dollars for gas, because I didnt have it, and I wouldnt let him use my car because I only had enough gas to get back and forth to work and didnt have any more money to put in my tank because I paid the bills, I dont know where his money went. Look at the research its madness what people are ending marriages for .The problem is you are supposed to be a team function as a team nothing else or anyone else matters . Still working. I had them sat night and she wanted them back Sunday, I said no, I want them the 2 nights we agreed on and kept them the second night. When I first left the security of my nuclear family, my house, and my marriage the world initially seemed so shaky and unstable. I will not lie to you, this will not be easy, but I can promise YOU WILL feel relief from staying true to yourself. All those things Ive overlooked for years are very obvious now. Six months since I left him for another man. Husband walked out a week before thanksgiving on our three kids and me. He created us & gave us a plan to follow (bible). I rent a room now after owningy castle. I know how you feel Matt, im so sorry for you. We have a beautiful son together. Do Saturday comes and she calls me. If you loved me he wouldnt of left me. I hate being alone. Im not comparing my experience, but evil is evil no matter what level it is onAgain Thanks for your response. I have been through this, and I know that sometimes it may seem like your marriage is over, but it might not be. I slowly rebuilt myself through counseling for over a year, meditation (I used the Calm app every night). Often a wife's response, although well intended, can just drive her husband even deeper into his midlife crisis. You can keep your self-esteem high by working on yourself and becoming more confident. Trust me. When my wife announced that she was leaving, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. So, if you want to give your marriage another chance,watch his simple and genuine video here. Im just curious.I am 50 and I live in Illinois.. CassieD.Thanks,The problem is that she takes care of the bills,so she would know what i spent it for.And we both agreed to wait until my settlement before we decided the next step on what to do with the finances.I told her that I need her Ins to get my knee replaced and she said that is fine .I am almost at my wits end with all of this confusion and fright and pain. He has never served me, and has filed for two extensions for the filing. He gave her money and bought her a car to keep her, but in the end, that didn't work.
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